


Pretty Pretty (Professor) Princess

by Wolf_of_Lilacs



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Crack, M/M, Pining, Professor Tom Riddle, Tom Is A Dick, vague fantasy au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-28
Updated: 2019-10-28
Packaged: 2021-01-05 21:32:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21215396
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wolf_of_Lilacs/pseuds/Wolf_of_Lilacs
Summary: Tom is abducted by a dragon and locked in a tower. Harry, as per tradition, must rescue him.





	Pretty Pretty (Professor) Princess

**Author's Note:**

  * For [DarkkBluee](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarkkBluee/gifts).
  * In response to a prompt by [DarkkBluee](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarkkBluee/pseuds/DarkkBluee) in the [October_Flash_Fest_Part_Two](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/October_Flash_Fest_Part_Two) collection. 

> **Prompt:**
> 
> Harry Potter saves Tom Riddle|Voldemort from a locked tower. Things would have ended there, except for the following facts:
> 
> Fact 1: Tom Riddle|Voldemort is the Heir of Slytherin  
Fact 2: Hogwarts castle belongs to the Slytherin family  
Fact 3: That makes Tom|Voldemort a Prince(ss)
> 
> What happens when a brave knight saves a Princess from a tower?
> 
> When I say "vague fantasy au", I mean "extremely vague, please don't think about it too much."😂  
Also not sure how I got Professor Tom out of this, but here we are.

It's day 35 of his captivity in this godforsaken tower, and Tom’s sick of it.

Nothing but cold loveless stone and a window too narrow to put a hand through. Which isn't necessarily bad, all things considered.

There's a gargantuan dragon prowling long in fang and dark in scale, and he's certain putting any part of his anatomy out the window would be an invitation for the dragon to relieve him of it.

He slumps against the wall, picking at the small meal that magically appeared every eight hours, no matter the time of day. This time it's a slice of bread slathered in something that smells like butter, but most definitely is not.

He's tried everything to escape. Praying (Tom's sure there is no God, but he is thorough). Making multiple detailed maps of the tower. Blood rituals. Thumping the wall just to see if something happens; nothing does, except a sore hand.

He's fed up. And oh dear, the dragon sounds hungry down there. Hungrier than usual.

He needs to get out. He's got papers to grade. And midterms to write down (he's planned innumerable exams out of boredom by this point).

Then, at long last, there is a sharp knock at the door. 

tom feels a sinking feeling in his stomach. Oh goody. It's someone here to rescue him. Now he'll owe them something.

"Anyone alive in there?" someone calls through the keyhole. His voice is laden with pants and his armor clanks.

Tom rolls his eyes. "If I'm not alive, then the whole world has ended." He's serious. He never intends to die.

"Uh huh." The door creaks open, and Harry Potter, his _least favorite_ student, peers in.

"You have got to be kidding me."

"Professor! We thought you might be dead. When the dragon came for you, you know…”

“What am I, a princess in a tower?” Tom sighs. "I hate you, Potter. You're one of the worst students I've ever had."

Potter rolls his eyes so loudly that Tom is sure he's heard it. "I know you love me, professor. But I am the one with the armor and the horse and this really cool sword. Think that makes me the knight to your princess."

"Then get me out of here."

Potter bows, his armor giving a horrible screech. "All right. Up you get." And he's swinging Tom over his shoulder and clanking down the tower stairs.

"Put me down!"

"Sorry, professor. It's in the job description. You're the princess, so this is how it goes."

His life is a cosmic joke, Tom decides.

"Okay." Potter sets him down when they reach the landing. "We need to be really quiet, because we could wake the dragon."

"You mean to tell me that you didn't slay the dragon?" Tom shouts.

"Oh my god, shut up!" Potter shushes him frantically, but it's too late. They can hear thunderous snarls.

"Run," Potter hisses. Tom doesn't even consider protesting.

They aren't fast enough. The dragon gains on them, spitting flame that engulfs them. Tom pushes Potter behind him, so that he can take the brunt of the dragon's rage. And maybe die conveniently while he's at it. Tom's not too picky.

But nothing happens to either of them. The fire washes over them, entirely harmless. It's no worse than a warm shower on a hot day.

"You tried to kill me," Potter sputters.

The fire abruptly stops. The dragon pushes its head into the passageway, lips pulled back over fearsome teeth…and winks.

"I wasn't trying to kill you," Tom retorts. "I was just attempting to direct the worst of the flames away from my person."

The dragon winks again. Tom looks back at it, quite at a loss.

"I know I've never been your favorite student, but that's rude. I came to rescue you."

"Which you've failed at," Tom sighs. "As you did my class."

It wasn't because Potter had been terrible at the material, mind you. Practically speaking, he was his best student. But, you know, temperament and such. Tom gave him a failing grade based on all the backtalk during class alone, and no one ever accused him of being unfair. But that may have been because he only turned in the good parts of Potter's grade.

"Oh, come on." Potter throws his hands up. "The dragon's going to let us go. I haven't failed."

The dragon shakes its head, then winks at Tom again.

"Well, we seem to be at a stalemate here," Tom notes. "We can't leave, but the fire has ceased."

"Oh, I think I might know this one." Potter grins at him, looking far too satisfied. "You know why you were locked in the tower, don't you?"

"If I did, I wouldn't bother telling you."

Potter's armor clatters obnoxiously as he puts a hand to his forehead. "I'm a knight. That makes you a princess or whatever. Guess you're descended from some noble family."

Potter's smarter than he looks, Tom grudgingly admits.

The dragon is doing something with its front claws that might be applauding. Or possibly grooming.

"Maybe the dragon knows something. Does it talk?" Potter stage-whispers.

Tom interjects before the dragon can wink again. “Dragon, do you speak?"

"About time you asked, yeesh. Of course I talk, to the castle's inheritor. Which is you, but, uh, you know…"

"Go on," Tom hisses through clenched teeth. Potter doesn't seem to be following the conversation.

"You weren't claiming your birthright and stuff, so I had to kidnap you and lock you in the tower until you saw sense. Usual procedure with this sort of situation."

"I don't follow."

"You need to live in the castle and marry and such. It's your duty as the last descendant of Salazar Slytherin, may he rest in peace." The dragon scratches behind one of its horns with a back paw, producing more horrible screeching sounds.

"I have no interest in marrying."

"Way to state the obvious, professor," Potter cuts in, forlorn.

"Oh, hush." Tom glares from Potter to the dragon. "I'm a professor. I almost have tenure, even. I don't want to quit my job and move into a castle."

Lies, of course. He already has tenure. He's well-respected in the community. Everyone knows his name and comes to him for advice. He's got everything he's ever wanted.

"You don't want a castle?" The dragon is scandalized.

"The estate taxes," Tom puts in. "Impossible to pay on my salary."

"I don't know what any of those words mean," the dragon tells him. "Hogwarts is lonely. I'm lonely. You can't leave, and neither can your brave knight who came all this way and went through untold hardships, challenges, tasks, etc., etc. You get the idea."

"Yes, I'm sure it was all quite harrowing."

"Are you talking about me?" Potter perks up. "It really was."

"Right," the dragon continues. "So in light of that, you have to stay here, give him your hand in marriage because that's the only way you can thank him properly, and then rule benevolently until your death at a ripe old age, at which point you will pass everything on to one of your children."

"I just want to go back to work," Tom says. He likes teaching, but he never thought he'd say that… A month in a tower has done things to his mind.

Also he has no intention of ruling benevolently, if he must indeed rule. He wrote a manifesto years ago, when his plans were less professor and more revolutionary/tyrant (he didn't much care which).

"Look, if you don't ask him to marry you soon, you're going back in that tower and he'll have to come back later." The dragon sounds genuinely annoyed now.

Tom shudders. "Potter," he says. "Er, Harry."

"Yeah?"

Tom takes one of his gauntleted hands. "Will you do me the honor of giving me your hand in marriage? It's the least I can offer you for your brave rescue."

"I mean, hell yes, but are you sure you want that? The last time I asked..."

Tom tries to forget that every day. End-of-year party, it had been, and everyone was quite drunk.

"The last time doesn't matter," Tom tells him.

"Then yes," Potter says. He pushes back his visor, and they kiss.

It's easy to fall back into old patterns. They know what they both like. Harry's kisses are as frustrating and adorably insistent as he is, and Tom takes them all with relish.

"Great. Congratulations. Can you two get a room? Not a tower room, just a room away from me."

Er, right. The dragon's still watching.

Tom tugs Harry into a conveniently open door just off the corridor, and they continue their, hmm, increasingly heated exchange.

Better kissing (and marrying) Harry Potter than being in that tower, any day.


End file.
